Just wait 3 YEARS!!!!
Well this post aged well. I wrote about potty training my oldest son two years ago. It took him only to the age of 3. The twins are a little older than 3 and are finally potty training. I found that age to be the sweet spot for potty training, at least for my kids. I was talking to a couple twin moms and they said the same thing about their twins. I tried a few things when the girls were 2 but nothing worked.
WHO SAID GIRLS WERE EASIER?
I'll fill you in shortly on what worked differently for the girls than their brother. Lets review the experience with Kaiden. Omg. Potty training Kaiden was so easy. All it took was 3 years and a TON of “Hot Wheels.” Ok so I really did compare my kids to the genius my parents led me to believe I was. According to my mother I was walking, talking and potty-trained all by the age of 1. She claims she bribed me with big girl panties and it worked. Hmmm bribery, it sure did work for my son.
WE BRIBED KAIDEN TO POTTY TRAIN!
He could have been “developmentally ready” and conned us out of toys, but we will never know. Oooo no he couldn’t be bribed with candy, like the cute m&m’s that I read about. My son has expensive taste. The winner, “Hot Wheels.” Each time he used the bathroom he got a brand new “Hot Wheel,” straight out of the package. A mommy friend suggested I keep the package and “recycle, reuse, reduce.” That would have worked if my child didn’t have the memory of an elephant. When we accidentally bought one that he already had, he would find the other one, to show us that it was not new.
SAVE ME MONEY PLEASE!
Potty-training seems to be one of the most talked about milestones behind walking and talking. Why the rush, I used to ask? Then I had kids. I GET IT NOW, diapers are EXPENSIVE. Unfortunately the act of urinating and defecating all boils down to being physiological and developmentally ready. I am not saying don't try potty training children younger than 3 but also be patient with the process. I just knew the girls would have expressed interest prior to the age of 3, but I was wrong. Again who said girls were easier? Kaiden beat them to every milestone other than talking, but who is comparing? Ha got the social part down girls, just like your mommy.
HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN THEY ARE READY?
In my quest to write this original post, I did a lot of research about the different techniques used to potty-train children. Pointless fact about me I am always reading articles and books. You know you read a lot when your children’s developmental specialist tells you that they should pick your brain more. I retain useful and pointless facts. Anyways...there are developmental milestones that should be accomplished first prior to initiating potty training.
HOLD IT UNTIL WE FIND A POTTY!
A child must be able to physiologically hold their poop and pee. We have sphincters that we must be able to control. In some cases, women lose a little bit of that control after childbirth...raise your hand if you are one. I have a fun (sarcasm) post about my experience with the urogynecologist and overactive bladder, stay tuned. This voluntary control usually develops between 12 to 15 months.
MOMMY I NEED TO GO POTTY!
I laughed as I was reading the developmental milestones necessary to successfully start potty training. It was as simple as communicating the need to potty. A child must be able to understand and follow directions. I spaced on that basic fundamental skill when we first started trying to potty train Kaiden. I mentioned in previous posts, my son was delayed in speech. He was in early intervention from 15 months to a little after 2. A year after learning to talk and communicate he was ready to potty train. The other developmental milestones include; walking, sitting and standing with coordination, pulling up and down pants.
SPOT THE DIFFERENCE!
Now let's talk about the girls. I did remember all the developmental milestones necessary for potty-training when it was the girls turn. This is why I didn't really push the issue until after 3. Kali was in early intervention for developmental delay and speech delay. She aged out at 3 and is moving right a long. Kori told me she was the baby and that is why she didn't want to potty train. Yes! She said that in so many words. I realized after talking with one mom that I may have missed the window and the girls just didn't feel the need to potty because they weren't required to. SHE WAS RIGHT! The minute I started actively encouraging it Kali took right to it. Kori required a little chat about her being my baby always but still a big girl using the potty. IT WORKED!
NNNNNNOOOOOOO DON'T PEE ON THE FLOOR!!!!!!
A good communication indicator for potty-training readiness is a child's ability to yell NO for everything they do not want to do. Kaiden started saying no right around his third birthday, and it drove me crazy. I hadn’t noticed it until we were out of town visiting family. It was as if everything I said to him resulted in a NO, and it resonated throughout the house. Here comes that mom guilt, I read about. I felt like people were judging us with this “disobedient” child. I don’t even really know if anyone noticed. I was like omg he is acting so different right now. A few weeks later I was pregnant with the twins and he finally said yes to the potty and received his first “hot wheel.” Yes, literally the week the twins were conceived my son decided he was ready to use the potty. I guess he knew he was no longer the baby, and time to be Big Brother.
JUST KEEP SWIMMING!
Well the girls have been well versed in the word No for quite some time now. I guess that wasn't a good indicator for them. We did try bribery with sweet tarts. I learned quickly that the reward program really wouldn't work for them. They would sit on the potty and expect candy. They didn't understand the concept of peeing for treats. Thanks girls, you saved us some money this time around. I got this cute little potty watch and sang the potty songs. That didn't work. The watch became a cute fashion piece that played music. I tried reading Elmo uses the potty. Not interested. They just pressed all the buttons to make the fun sounds. Kali is really into gymnastics and going to school. Shamelessly I tried to bait her into potty training for gymnastic lessons. HA. What worked for the girls was consistency. I started having them use the potty every hour. It worked, and now I am wondering if I should have done that sooner.
IT'S NOT A RACE...UNLESS YOU ARE RACING TO FIND A POTTY!
The average age children demonstrate developmental readiness to potty train is around 18 to 24 months. It is important that we understand development is not rigid but fluid and children reach milestones at different ages. We should not compare our children to others because each child is their own individual. Who am I kidding, we all compare and contrast. We notice different personalities in our children. We notice what learning style works for each child. We notice what reward systems work best. We notice every little detail and it really is hard not to compare, just don't let them know, right. Milestone timelines are guides to help providers, parents or developmental specialists identify children who are at risk for or have delays.
MAKE IT FUN!
I hope some of these tricks I tried with my kids help you out in some way. Please share your go to potty training tricks. Check out the different potty training techniques in the next post. Have fun playing in pee and poop as the clean up can be messy. Just wash your hands. Make sure what your kid is bringing you is chocolate and not poop.
Cite That